Why is it so much easier to let go of people we chose to let go of, but find it so much harder to let go of people who chose to leave our lives? Could it be something to do with the fact, that when we make that decision, we are in control, but that control is taken from us by another when they go, and there is little we can do about it?
Let’s break things down a little and look at the reasons first why we need to let go of people and secondly why people chose to leave our life in the first place.
1.Because it is not always about us.
Sometimes it is about them, when they walk out, and what they need to get from life and for their personal happiness and wellbeing. We are not center of the universe for anyone’s life except our own!
We all want different things in our lives no matter how compatible we may be, or how well we get on. When someone recognizes a strong need or desire that grows, or doesn’t fade, and they feel they cannot fulfill that passion or desire they have, while being with you, then they must ultimately leave or live resenting you.
Is that what you really want for you or for them? Do you now see why you need to let go of people who chose to leave your life?
Sometimes it may be a new career, a place they have always wanted to live, something they want to do, but to do it alone and not have to commit to a time frame or to being with a person. This really is about them and not you, so let them go, so they can be fulfilled. Go find something that will fire you up and inspire you in the same way.
2.Because some relationships are toxic.
Can I put it any more simply than that? It will either be detrimental for one person (you) even if you were prepared to hang in there, keep hoping that things would change, or was it detrimental for the other person and they realized that and left.
Or was your relationship detrimental for both parties? Where any part of a relationship is toxic, it is not a good place to be for either person. Being with a manipulative, controlling, jealous or abusive partner are examples of a toxic relationship. Don’t expect them to change and stop making excuses for them. It doesn’t change a thing. Let them go.
On the other hand, if you were accused of being the toxic component of your relationship, then again just let them go, and use that time wisely to reflect on why you may need help, to resolve any issues you are going through.